One Year Ago...
One year ago, in January, was the last time my mom wrote on this blog, to share about how I (Ashlynd!) was doing. But let me back up!
Before November of 2014, I wasn’t doing very well. Worry was on my mind 24/7, and it didn’t leave much room for anything else! School was an issue; I was barely in class because I was so worried, therefore I was missing a lot, which then made me even MORE worried, and overwhelmed at the thought of all the work I was missing. I desperately wanted to be like “other kids” who could go to school, and go to friends’ houses without worrying. I was missing out on a lot with my friends too! I felt like I always had this “dark cloud” over me, with no sunlight streaming through. And then just as I started going to school again (reluctantly, but at least I was going!) my dad picked me up from school (I wouldn’t take the bus) and told me that the program called, and that I would be going on Monday (it was Friday!) This program was one that took me 10 months to get into. It was the one that caused me to ask questions from dusk ‘til dawn, (like I usually did!) But it was also the one that would, as cheesy as it sounds, change my life. For the better!
I went to that program on Monday, had a meeting with some of the team that worked there, and signed LOTS of papers!
Skip forward to a while later, I still had anxiety, and it definitely wasn’t easy being 3 hours away from home, living 5 days a week in a hospital-like setting with people and kids I didn’t know. But I was coping, and although I didn’t notice it yet, I was gaining independence. Something I hadn’t had much of in years (that makes me sound old :/ ) I wasn’t going to the staff there to ask question after question. I was more or less figuring it out on my own. If I became worried, I went to my room where I would be able to breathe deeply for a while, and once I felt better, I’d go outside of my room, and talk to the staff or my new friends about something OTHER than my worries!
Now, here I am, done the program, and feeling amazing! Worries really only cross my mind like other people’s would, although my family is a worrisome family! I wanted to give advice to anyone out there feeling the way I did. It really hurts my heart to hear about people who are going through what I did, because I know exactly how they feel! I’ve been there. And my advice is one that you’ll hear all the time: Never give up. That’s easier said than done, but just know that these experiences are shaping you into the person you were destined to be! And God has big plans for everyone! Something that’s also helped me is dreaming through rough experiences, because then you’ll realize all the amazing things you’ll do with your life once you’re better, but wait until you’re fully better before going for it, because then you’ll be able to fully enjoy it! My dreams are to be a singer, be on Ellen, and be one of those inspiring singers who help others, and help them get through whatever it is they’re going through! And I wouldn’t be able to help people had I not gone through what I did! So to anyone out there going through severe anxiety, keep your head up! God has BIG plans for you! Share this to anyone you feel would need to hear it! BTW, check out my YouTube channel for singing videos coming up! -Ashlynd Surette!
<3 Sincerely, Ashlynd Surette!